Answered Questions

Mr. Vanilla asked me these questions and I am just now getting to answer them.
You said "The funny thing is when I say all of these things out loud about me, I feel like a slut."

Regardless of someone or yourself labeling you "a slut", are you okay with your past? If you could repeat it, would you be as free with your body, maybe more so?

For the most part I am o.k. with my past. I wish I would have take more precautions back then. I wasn't terribly careful. I also put myself in some dangerous situations that I was lucky didn't end up badly. I don't think I would have been more free with my body. There is really only one person that I never made love to that I am sorry for. But it was his decision as well. It was my first love. I am recently in contact with him again. The only reason we never had sex, is because he was totally in love with me and wanted it to be very special. He didn't want it to be ina car or a cheap hotel. I didn't really care then and I don't now. I just wish we could have had sex at leat once. Not that it made any difference in how much I love him.

I don't know if you read your old comments, but I'd be very interested in reading a post about the time you were celebate for three years? Why did you do it, and what was it like? As you are the woman, it obviously was a choice for you. Did you abstain from all sex, just intercourse, oral sex, masterbation, etc?


My celibacy. Well it didn't start out to be a mission or anything. I moved around some and didn't know a lot of people. Plus the people I was interested in weren't interested in me. I am very picky. I like to be with very hot and sexy people. Men and women. But the thing is I didn't feel so great about myself at the time. I was trying to get over an ex and working all the time to pay the rent. The months just slipped into years. And of course I had to use masturbation to get me through. And during that time I bought a massager, that quickly became my vibrator. And of course there were a couple of people that liked me, but at the time, I wasn't getting the message. Plus I change my hair a lot, and for a while it was pretty short, but I didn't exactly dress like a dyke or a straight woman. So I thought at the time that gay women thought I was straight and straight men thought I was a lesbian.

So when I was finally sick of being single, I ended up finding my ex. He and I didn't hook up that quickly, but it opened the door for my self esteem and I found people left and right. A few months later I met my husband and the rest is history.

See you in the moonlight.

A Lesbian Affair

(this pic looks a lot like the woman I was with then)

One of the times I was with a woman was many years ago. I had a friend that lived next door to me. We were really good friends and hung out together pretty much daily. She was married with a couple of kids. And I lived with a boyfriend that I had at the time.
Anyway she was thin and kind of short. She had long wavy red hair, but she dyed it. Her tits were so damned perky, even after having kids. She also had creamy white skin. I genuinely loved her, before anything ever happened between us.

She and of course used to talk about sex all of the time. We used to talk about what our men liked and didn't like. What we wanted to try and what our men would like us to do. Her husband thought I was hot and was always teasing about us having a threesome. However I never thought of him that way. Totally not my style. But she also used to tell me about their porn collection and toys they had. I was impressed. She was such a little thing and I never thought that she would do the things she said she did. She had this huge butt plug and benois (sp?) balls. She had a giant double ended dildo and vibrators. She is probably the one who introduced me to these kinds of things. We were both only 19.

One day when her husband was at work and I don't remember where my boyfriend was, I was over at her apartment. She had this banned tape of porn with Traci Lords on it. She showed it to me and we were sitting across from one another in separate chairs. We were both getting so turned on. I just couldn't take it any more and I got up and went over to her and kissed her passionately. I put my hands on her head and picked her up and we went over to the couch. I laid on top of her and we were making out. I unbuttoned her blouse and she wasn't wearing a bra. Her nipples were erect and hard. She was lovely. She said she needed to go get something. She got her giant dildo and brought it over so we could play with it. But she wouldn't let me do anything other than kiss her. She didn't want to feel like she was cheating on her husband. She felt like if she did stuff to me, but I didn't do anything to her she was o.k. So she ended up on top of me and kissed me and took off my clothes. She sucked on my nipples for a few seconds and then she went down on me. And for someone who never did this before in her whole life, SHE WAS FANTASTIC!!! She was also using the didlo on me and she made me cum so hard.

But she and I never really had sex again. We only made out here and there. Not that I even liked the way she kissed. She always kept her mouth too tightly closed and never really gave in to the feelings. But she has always had a special place in my heart. And always will.

Ode to Mr. Vanilla

Oh, please do come back.
I love to read your blog so.
I miss your wit and sarcasm.
Please don't go.
You were my muse.
And now you are gone.
What am I supposed to peruse?
Don't be gone so long.
Your site was funny and sexy.
And interesting to boot.
Now I can't be sassy,
When there is no one to think I am cute.
I am not good at this poetry crap,
So Mr. Vanilla I am begging you to cum back!

Memories

Anon said,
Where should I leave the, "material?" Would here suffice?

1. We already talked about having sex on the golf course. I loved coming up with the idea of you yelling, "Fore!" every time you orgasmed.

I hardly remember yelling "Fore", but I do remember the sprinklers coming on while we were having sex and hoping that we wouldn't get caught. Of course that was always a problem with us since we had sex in public all of the time.

2. There was one night when we parked near Mt. Cutler Falls (off of Seven Falls in the Springs) and were having sex in the back of your car, when the cops came and busted us. The reason that was so memorable was I distinctly recall the lights from the cruiser playing over your body, across your back: in that glare your ass looked perfect.

I didn' know that you liked that particular memory just because the way the light was hitting my ass. I mostly remember trying to look for a place to have sex and having to put my clothes on in a hurry and trying to cover up so the officer couldn't see anything. I bet that is one of their favorite things to do, bust teenagers having sex. Plus if you recall there were two cars blocking us in so we couldn't leave without talking to them first.

3. Another time when we were having sex at Palmer Park, and you were screaming so loud, the coyotes were yowling and yipping back at you in response. Talk about communing with nature.

Do you remember that a coyote actually got pretty close to where we were because we had a picnic up there too and we kept throwing the excess food around. I never got dressed so fast in my whole life. Plus I remember wearing my combat boots and that was a difficult task. Then we ran to my car, I am pretty sure we ended up having sex somewhere else that night as well. I also remember using chocolate whipped cream all over you as I was going down on you. That was a lot of fun.

4. Or, sneaking into your room/guest house/garage while you were living with your dad and having sex all night long: it was especially memorable, as you had some very lovely chimes by your bed, and you would run your fingers across them every time you came.

Do you also remember that we got caught with you at my house. I still have the chimes. And I have used them for that same purpose a time or two.

5. And, that one weekend where we watching porn together and acting it out scene-for-scene... the best was you lying on your back with your head hanging off of the bed/chair/couch we were using and deep-throating me upside-down.

I had forgotten about that particular acrobatic stunt. I was quite nimble then. I need to get back into shape. I would like to repeat some of these feats. It has been a while. Kids will do that to you.
I know we did a lot that particular weekend. Unfortunately I don't remember much of it, I just remember the feelings and being quite hungry and ravenous. For food as well as you.

I could go on and on, of course... it's nice to have memories like that to muse upon, and remember back in the day when it seemed like we simply couldn't get enough of each other. Good times and bad, through the happy stuff and the not-so-great times... there was never a shortage of mutual indulgence, was there?

After all of these memories I kind of wished we would have taped some of it. I can't believe how much I have forgotten. I do hope you remember our one special place near the park, that we would stay from time to time. I loved waking up with you there. Especially when it was cold in the morning and you were so nice and warm.

There is one more memory. Do you remember the time we were at the park by the highway and the railroad tracks? You made me scream louder than the train. We were lucky we didn't get arrested.

I kind of like being called, "Anon!" Nice ring to it, like, "Aeon," or somethin'...

4:58 AM

See you in the moonlight.

Threesomes

Sorry to say that I have not had a threesome with a married couple. Actually for a long time that is all I wanted in life. I wanted to be with a couple that already had kids. I wanted to be a second mother and lover. I wanted to have a ready made family. In my mind it was to be wonderful, the man, woman and children of my dreams. However reality kicked in. I contacted a few different couples through personal ads and we talked for a while. But nothing came of it. We just never met in person. Schedules conflicted and it just never got off the ground.

Back in the day, though when I was in a couple with my boyfriend, we almost had a threesome one night. His name was Brandon and we had been together for about 7 months and we had been living together for awhile. Anyway he had one of his best friends in town and wanted me to hook him up with one of my friends. I had just met this girl in our neighborhood and invited her over. Her name was Tiffany, I think. So of course Brandon and I tried to make it clear that these two should hook up. But somehow things were not working out that way. Tiffany and I were hitting off better than anyone else. But she had been kissing Brandon's friend. Then she and I went for a walk in the summer evening. We talked and ended up holding hands. She and I went back up to our apartment and went into my bedroom. Brandon came in to see what we were doing and we were making out on the bed. She had long brown wavy hair, with green eyes. She was thin and beautiful. I was starting to feel her up when Brandon acted kind of shocked. Then he sat down on the bed and asked if he could join in and so did Brandon's friend. But I didn't want to have sex with another guy entirely. I mostly wanted Tiffany. There was a lot of kissing and touching going on. But when clothes started to come off, Brandon started to get weird and wanted the other two to leave. So unfortunately nothing else happened. Tiffany and his friend didn't even have sex. It just kind of ended there.

But that is the extent of my threesome days, other than the previous story I told you.

See you in the moonlight.

Do I satisfy my lovers?

This is a question that I have recently become aware of. Actually Mr. Vanilla said that I must satisfy my lovers very well from reading my blog. And in return I said that I have only had one complaint. The funny thing is that the person who complained, I didn't think so highly of either. So maybe it was a compatiblity thing.

Anyway, I think for the most part that I am more than adequete in bed. Of course it can be difficult to tell at times. Some people could be just being polite. I know I have been. They could be faking. Although that is difficult for a man to do. So what constitutes being 'GOOD" ? Of course that all depends on who you are having sex with at the time. The only problem with asking this question here is that the only person who could give me any feedback is a man I haven't slept with in 7 years. He knows about this blog, but I have no idea if he reads it much if at all. Plus that would only be one person's opinion. It isn't like I could take a poll. ( I wish I could)

There are ways to tell if somone is having a good time with you. But since several of the people I have been with were one night stands, I never spoke with them again. But then again a few of the people that were supposed to be one night stands ended up being long term relationships, including my husband.

Maybe we should cum up with a list of things that could help all of us determine if the sex we have had was "GOOD". Besides of course a man ejaculating. There is moaning, arching the back, kissing with passion, grabbing, spanking, screaming( with delight), having sex for a second or third time, and so on.

So bring be your questions and answers. And if they are good I will either post them again or make sure that the comments are right after the post.

Domination/submission

Well a friend of mine asked me the question of whether I like Domination/submission and which side I was into or whether I liked both. He also wanted me to write about it.

I actually can't recall a whole lot of role playing that got real serious. I do remember a few times getting my husband to be the submissive one and doing most of what I told him to do. Although I don't get gross or anything. I don't ask him to lick my shoes or anything. It is more of a gentle directing of what I would like for the evening. Like go down on me now. Suck it like that. Harder, faster, slow down. That sort of thing.

As far as being submissive. I think women are put in that role a lot. Whether it is intentional, not really. I like for a man to just take me, as long as I trust him. I like to be slammed against a wall and fucked hard now and again. It hasn't happened like that for a long time. The last time I can remember really rough sex was years before my son was born. Hell I think it was probably before I was married, but it was with my husband.

We used to be really playful. We have lots of toys. One of the reasons my husband got together with me was because I was a sexually free person. I don't have a lot of hangups about sex. My parents were very open and honest people and told me everything and some stuff I didn't want to know.

I do like to use handcuffs and feathers. I like to please a person when they are tied up and they can't really do anything about it. But I also like to be in that position myself. It can get really hot that way. To be teased to the point you can't stand it anymore. And you are begging to be set free just to get some relief. But it can lengthen the expierence.

I like to wear costumes to set the mood. I have a cheerleading costume. I have a plastic dress. I have this whole body stocking thing that is like fishnets. I have sexy underwear. I also have regular sily nightgowns.

The last really fun thing I did was the cheerleading thing. I even have pom poms. I also have a red wig. I spelled out my husband's name and tickled him with the pom pom's. But that has been the most interesting sex lately. And that was about 3 months ago.

I am sure there are other moments. I can't seem to recall them right now. When I do I will write about them.

See you in the moonlight.

Sex with 2 Men

A friend of mine wanted me to write about something. He said that I don't write often enough. So here goes. This is a true story of a threesome that I had several years ago, before I even met my husband.

I was living alone in a small 2 bedroom apartment and a friend of mine Jason, needed a place to stay for a while. I had thought that he was cute for quite some time. The only problem was that he did drugs and smoked. So I didn't really want him at my place too long.

We would flirt from time to time but there really wasn't a whole lot between us. Until he spent the night once because he was too drunk to drive home. He was staying on the couch. But I was hoping something would happen so I wore a sexy blue silk cami and boy short set to bed. Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up to go to the bathroom and when I went back to my bedroom he was in my bed. I asked if he knew where he was and he said yes. He kissed me passionately. It was intense.

I had been single for a couple of years and not really dating anyone at the time. So I was totally ready for this. We kissed and our hands roamed each other's bodies. He slid his hand into my panties and started to rub my clit. I was already wet with desire. I took off his shorts and we had sex. It was incredible. We rolled around for hours. I was on top and grinding away and then he would flip me over and we would do it doggy style. We had a lot of fun that night.

Of course we continued to have sex for the next couple of months. As he was staying at my place for a while, he asked if friends could come over. So one night his friend Eric came over to hang out. I am not really sure how we got on the subject, but we started talking about threesomes. Of course we got into who had done what and with whom. We were talking about the weirdest things we had ever done. And then the guys asked me if I wanted to right then and there. And for some reason I said yes.

We went to the back bedroom and proceeded to get undressed. We turned on some music. And the three of us were laying on the bed naked. Not really knowing where we should start. Since Jason and I had been intimate before I started kissing him first. Then Eric. Of course both of the guys were hetero, so they didn't do anything to each other. So I was feeling like I was constantly leaving someone out. I would go down on Jason while I tried to jack off Eric. Then I would switch. Then Jason got on top of me and started to slide his dick inside me. We were having sex while I was jacking Eric off. It just felt really lop sided. So then I would switch again. And Eric was on top of me grinding away. But I didn't have any feelings for Eric and I wasn't exactly having a great time. I just wanted to continue with Jason and that was it. So I started to suck Eric off and he was happy and then left the room for Jason and I to finish. But even the sex with Jason at that point felt a little strained. It was too quick. But we would have felt weird had we continued for too much longer without Eric.

The other odd thing after we were all done is that we just hung out around the house naked for a while. And then Eric would ask me when Jason wasn't around if we could have sex again without Jason. And these guys were supossedly best friends. But hey I know I am good in bed and that everyone wants to be with me more than once.

Jason and I continued to have a little on again off again fling for a few months. He was a jerk, but he was great in bed.

We Made Love

Well I was definitely in the mood today. But I tried to hold off and wait till my husband came home from work. But I also wanted to make sure that he would want to do the same thing. So I called him at work to let him know that I was missing him and that I was looking forward to his cuming home in a couple of hours.

Anyway he arrives just as our son is falling asleep. Perfect, till our kid heard the door open and heard my husband's voice. Well I put our son down for a nap anyway.

I was prepared for his arrival. I had showered and shaved. I was wearing easy access chinese pajama pants and a pretty tank black see through tank top. I had gotten our favourite sex music in place and the candles were ready to be lit. So I asked him to go freshen up as I put our son down. I was able to go quickly downstairs as my husband was taking a shower. I smacked him on that cute ass of his. I said I was going to look at a little porn before heading upstairs. I looked at a couple of pics, then went upstairs to light the candles and turn on the music, then turn off the lights.

He came upstairs and we sat on the bed in each other's laps. We kissed softly and held each other. It was beautiful. He smelled wonderful. And so did I. Plus I had dusted myself with some sparkley glittery stuff with perfume in it. Then he layed me back and started to kiss my stomack and lift up the edge of my tank top. He liked that look. Just the edge of my breasts peeking out of the bottom. He wanted better access and wanted to take off my pants. The cool thing about them is all you have to do is untie them in the front and they fall off. We held each other close and kissed each other's necks. His cock rubbed against my clit and I was wet. I had missed his touch for a while.

We made love slowly and rythmically. I wanted my tank top off so I could feel his skin next to mine. Finally he was fulfilling my latest desires. It was great. But his meds make him tired and he didn't want to finish. But at least he was still focused on me. He rubbed me and fingered me with my vibrator till I came. Then we just lay in bed next to each other. I was laying on his chest still rubbing his cock, but he didn't seem interested. So we talked a little.

All in all it was a nice evening. It was sweet and gentle and what I really needed. Of course he was tired and went to bed soon after. At least we are starting to go in the same direction.

See you in the moonlight.

He touched me.

He touched me, not really in a sexual way, but a loving way. I was in bed trying to fall asleep. He came upstairs after taking a shower and forgetting about doing anything for my birthday. He got into bed and just starting holding my hand for a moment. Then he turned over and started rubbing my tushie. ( I am so-o-o Peg Bundy) Then he started rubbing my back too. It was nice. Of course I wanted sex and I had told him so, but he wasn't in the mood. But it felt nice to have his hands on me. To feel his touch. To feel a certain amount of love.

Hello, I am not sure what to write about this evening. However I am thinking about women quite a bit right now. Probably because my husband has decided to hang out with his friends this evening.

But I wanted to say that this picture is a combination of what I feel about women, their inherent sexuality along with their beauty as art. It is animalistic in nature, but it is also artistic in form. The base of who we are as humans.

This kind of sensuality is what draws me to women. And of course the way the communicate and that they are soft and gentle, but also strong and confident. Men have a lot of these qualities as well, but they are not in the same context.
Women make you want to touch them. They ooze sexuality even when they are just talking with a friend. Their breasts are out there for everyone to see. Even when they are completely covered up. Their asses are round and voluptuous.

I want to trace every curve of their bodies. To feel their soft skin on my fingertips. To feel their soft wet kiss on my mouth. To feel the ache between my legs and give in to the wanting. To feel her wet juices on my finger. To taste her sweetness in my mouth. To feel her soft and swollen clit on my tongue. To feel her body shiver with my touch. And mine with hers. To feel her warm breath on my neck and her kisses on my shoulder. To writhe around and feel like one with her. To feel connected and needed. To feel her quiver with delight as my fingers enter her body. To feel her touch on my pussy. To feel her mouth on my button. To bring each other to the edge and back again. To squeal with delight. To moan with passion. To finally cum all over her hand, dripping with desire.

A Quickie

Well I finally got to have sex today. Although it wasn't very long and I didn't even get to get off. My husband came home from work and I was making dinner in the kitchen. It wasn't going to be ready for another 30 min. So we head downstairs and we are talking and just figuring out the day and I noticed the computer. I wanted to show him the little collection of porn that I have now and a few pics of his favourite actress. She is Elizabeth Shue. I don't know why she turns him on so much, but he loves her so I saved a couple of her pics. Anyway I am scrolling through them and he is starting to get hard. Our kid is taking a nap and he says why not. I said I haven't had a shower and the vibrator is upstairs. So I jump in the shower as he goes upstairs to look for the device. I quickly get clean and jump out and he says he's not sure he wants to anymore. I say lets give it a try. He wants to put the computer on the ground and have me bend over while we are scrolling through the porn pics. He wants to do me from behind. I wasn't even wet yet, but we gave it a go. Of course he slides in and he is feeling pretty good. But it was a little uncomfortable for me. So I am using the vibrator on my clit and it feels good, but I am not even close. However this is always a good position for my husband and he finishes quickly. I was so upset that I didn't want to do anything else.

He didn't understand that I have been feeling lonely and left out of his life. Like I am on the sidelines. Like he doesn't want to show me affection. I told him all of this and have been telling him this for the last couple of weeks. But it finally sunk in. So he just held me while I cried and let it all out. Then we went upstairs watched a little t.v. and then had dinner.

The pork chops were a little dry, but he forgave me since we were busy. But at least some of his drive is back. It is a step in the right direction. Maybe we can have sex tomorrow or the next day.

See you in the moonlight.

"Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close (proximity) with someone who has ceased to communicate."
Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch

I feel like a man

As I am surfing the net for porn, I realize that I now know what it feels like to be a man. I can 't stop thinking about sex and women. I just keep staring at these fabulous pictures of breasts and curvy women, and women kissing. I also realize that I am not much of an ass woman. It isn't bad, but it's not what really gets my juices flowing.
I want to feel another woman's tits up against mine as I lick them and suck on her nipples. Hopefully to have just a little milk flow. I want to make her so wet she can't stand it anymore and she slams me against the wall and puts two fingers in my cunt. She has to taste me as well. She holds me there so I can't move and is kissing my neck. My weak spot. I feel her hot breath against my skin and I shiver. My hands are roaming too, to find her mound wet and juicy to greet me. My finger slips right in with only a slight moan of delight. I feel her back arch and her breasts press up against me. I fall to my knees so that I may worship her body and lick her clit into extacy. But I am not done and I want to cum too. We fall to the floor so that we can 69. She is atop me and is mouthing my clit and pussy. I am dripping with desire. She uses a vibrator and her mouth at the same time. I am so ready to cum, but her needs have to be addressed as well. She is creamy and ready for my hand to be inside her as I suck on her clit. We explode into orgasm and gently twitch until we fall asleep in bliss.

This is all very well and good. I even had myself a girlfriend last year. Unfortunately we were never able to consumate the relationship. Too many complications and our schedules didn't work. But every now and then, when I would go out with my friends, I would run into her. She would always say that we couldn't do anything. But I wouldn't take no for an answer. She was an amazing kisser. Her lips were soft and sweet, but passionate. Her body moved as though she wanted me too.It was also irritating, becasuse we could never go any further. She wasn't entirely out of the closet and her friends were always nearby.
So I am wanting a new one. I have been trying to get a girls night out, but to no avail. Hopefully soon. I need to satisfy my urges and needs.